Owen

3 years ago we took our 2-month old baby boy in to get his eyesight tested, and came out with a soul crushing diagnosis of albinism. After the tears dried up, I remember being angry at God. This wasn’t the plan. This was my rainbow baby (our daughter Amelia passed away shortly after birth) and now you’re telling me his eyesight can never be corrected? That he’ll battle with the sun for the rest of his life? That his eyes will never stop wiggling and he may never drive a car? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
The weight felt so heavy and the darkness I felt after Amelia’s diagnosis had returned. Once again, our lives would never be the same. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If only my past self could fast forward 3 years into the future. She’d be so proud of the little boy he’s become, and maybe her worry wouldn’t consume her. (isn’t hindsight a funny thing?)over and over again we see how Owen befriends those who are different and alone; just today at preschool he insisted on helping push his friend C’s wheelchair all the way from the classroom to the pickup line. Because that’s just what friends do. He’s kind and thoughtful and charming. He truly has a heart of gold, this one. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
In the moment it always feels impossibly overwhelming. And you might even be angry. But there’s one thing i’ve learned – just trust in the Lord. He knew 3 years later that I’d need a compassionate little Owen in my life. He knew i’d one day be shedding tears of joy over him. I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever be able to say i’m grateful for Owen’s albinism, but if that’s what it took to get us here today, i’m at least at peace with it.