The moment you slid silently into the world, marble white and flanked, by the gasps of the midwives and the sound of the emergency bell, we knew our lives would never be the same again. The doctors used the words ‘brain damage’ and ‘Cerebral Palsy’ and our hearts broke in two.
When we eventually got you home from the NICU you were the saddest, most uncomfortable soul. Your cries pierced our hearts and we grieved for our baby girl that had died the moment you took your first breath, the baby girl we thought we were having. It was the hardest time of our lives. It should have been the best.After years of IVF, when we drove to the hospital for me to give birth we thought we were entering The Wonderful Land of Oz. Instead, we ended up spinning around in a cyclone that didn’t end. I wanted to scoop you up and run away from it all, to hide over the rainbow. But I couldn’t. There was no colour in our world.
Then, following surgery, you got better in yourself. At ten months old you smiled and your smiles became the cracks of light in our shadowed world. You learned to laugh. They remain the only two ‘big’ milestones you have reached, but you pretty much never stop doing either.We became amazed by you and the joy you brought to all who met you. We began to understand what an absolute blessing you are with your incredible fighting spirit.
The baby they told us soon after birth would ‘never be a thinking person’ is so much more than that.You are fierce, brave, funny, intuitive, stubborn, joyful and loving. You are a miracle. We love you so much, Elin xx