We found out when I was 15 weeks pregnant that there was a 99.7% chance that he would have Down syndrome.
At first, it was so hard…I remember they called me at work with my test results, and all I could do was cry. I left work early, a mess and told my husband. We held each other and he let me cry some more.
I got myself together and went to my daughter’s lacross game, hoping to take mind off of it for a little bit. As I sat there, afraid to tell anyone, another parent made a comment about how many kids are born now Down syndrome and other disabilities, and if people didn’t have so many children, there would be less kids with disabilities in the world. I was crushed. I thought, here I sit pregnant with a child that will have a disability, and I did this to him…because he was my fourth baby, I did this by having too many children, and because I was older.
We didn’t tell even our families for 4 days. I felt very protective of him, I didn’t want anyone to pity him or me or us. I finally got the courage to reach out to the local Ds community, as well as a former co-worker who has a daughter with Ds. Then I started researching what I could about Ds and while some things continued to scare me to death, I realized this may not be as bad as I first envisioned. Then we had a prenatal echo and found out that he had a heart defect and would need open heart surgery at 4-6 months old. I had a hard time enjoying the rest of my pregnancy, and I now regret that so much.
When Parker was born, we were ready for whatever he was going to bring. He has seen the cardiologist regularly, and at 18 the doctor told us that his holes have completely closed on their own, and he will NOT need open heart surgery after all, we are so very grateful for that.
This little guy who is 2 and a half now has been the joy of all of our lives. I am not going to say that he is happy ALL the time, but when he is, this boy can light your heart with his smile and his laugh! He is teaching all of us to slow down and enjoy things as they come, to be more patient, and mostly just how being different is what makes us who we all are. He is our miracle, and truly part of the lucky few.